UNEQUAL JUSTICE
- Dr. Ranjeet K. Grover
I was screaming and kicking my legs to save myself from drowning. Suddenly I landed in a pitch dark pit. For a moment I thought I had died and gone to hell. But I felt my right hand fingers moving. Slowly and fearfully I moved my right arm to turn the light on. With great relief I found myself alive and realized that it was just a bad dream
I live in a windowless storage room at the basement of a building. Here day is like night, pitch black, unless I turn my lights on. It is only by looking at my alarm clock I find out if it is day or night. I checked my clock it was 4 PM in the afternoon, time for me to get up and get ready to be at work at 6 PM. In reality there is nothing to get ready about. I do not have a shower or bath tub to take bath at home .I take shower when ever I can at the gas station where I work. I have a toilet two doors down from my room in the hallway which I use when I am home. It is actually for the employees of the shop in front. I have a hot plate in my room to make tea and boil milk. My mother was very particular that I boil milk before drinking
My name is Jinda and I am from Ludhiana. In 1986 I passed my BSc. Exam from Panjab University scoring third position in the university. I was offered admission in medical college with scholarship. But my mother was determined to send me to America where her brother was settled. She told my uncle that she did not want to see her only son dead in a well or a river similar to my two cousins in false encounter with Punjab police.
She begged him to get me out of Panjab by any means. My uncle sent an air ticket for me to fly to Canada. After I reached Canada I crossed the border and went to America. My uncle had an Indian restaurant but I did not like to be a waiter there. One day he introduced me to his Guyanese friend who was a car mechanic and had his own shop. I was always fascinated by foreign cars so I started working for my uncle’s friend. My boss was a real nice person. We got along very well. He helped me get the social security card and temporary work permit. After one year I became his full time employee and minor partner. Money was good and I liked my job very much.
My boss introduced me to his cousin Sonia. She was pretty, smart, and had a job in a bank. She took me to the night clubs, mostly Guyanese night clubs to dance; we went for shows and ate out in good restaurants. I liked going out with her and we both had lot of fun. One day my boss mentioned “why don’t we, meaning Sonia and I get married? We both like each other and enjoy each other’s company. Sonia was an American citizen and after marriage she could help me apply for Green card” I liked the idea and my uncle and Sonia also agreed. Only my mother was not pleased about my marrying a non Panjabi girl. However she was happy with the idea that now I will have a wife to cook for me and take care of me.
After marriage Sonia moved into my apartment with me. I had decorated my apartment very nicely and furnished it with expensive furniture. I owned a pre-owned BMW car which was in mint condition. After marriage I bought a new Toyota as a gift for my bride. Life was beautiful.
But our honeymoon did not last very long. Sonia started coming home late at night, first because she went out for dinner with her girl friends and then sometimes with her male cousins. One night she did not come home till 12 MN. I called her on her cell phone but it was dead. I was worried sick thinking she might have met an accident or had been a prey of foul play. I was about to call police that she walked in. I asked her where was she and why did not she call if she was coming late? Very calmly she said “None of your business. I am grown up woman and I don’t need a permission from you to stay out late.” I held her both arms and shook her, “Damn it, here I was worried sick about your safety and you are giving me this bull shit” She said,” Leave me ,you are hurting my arms” and she quietly walked to our bed room and locked the door from inside.
I slept on the sofa in the living room. Next morning we did not speak to each other. I was about to leave, to eat my breakfast at a diner before starting my day that I heard a knock on the door. When I opened the door I saw two police officers in uniform .They asked me if I was Jinda. I said “Yes”. They handcuffed me and said to come with them to the police station. When I asked the reason they said they will tell me that at the station. My wife was standing near by and she said nothing.
At the station the officers told me that Sonia had called 911saying that I had hurt her arms which are black and blue and she is afraid that I may strangle her next time. She also said that I tortured her emotionally and I was very controlling husband. I was jailed for 2 days till my uncle got a lawyer to represent me in the court. When I was released from the jail my lawyer told me that I could not get near my wife or my house till my appointment with the judge in two weeks. My uncle arranged to get me few of my clothes and my BMW. Here I was homeless despite having a home of my own and she was enjoying my house. Where is the justice? I thought.In a week she filed for divorce. At the meeting with the judge he ordered me to attend the counseling sessions for anger management and domestic violence three times a week for 20 weeks
I attended the sessions regularly. They were helpful .I met with many men in my situation. One guy from Trinidad told his story similar to mine but with a different twist. He was an American citizen and was married to an illegal woman from his country. One evening she started throwing pots and pans at him without any reason. When he asked her to stop and she did not stop he slapped her. She called her brother and he came to their house with the police officers. The husband showed a gash on his head made by one of the pots to the officer but he handcuffed him and put him in the jail. The guy ended up as a wife beater and the wife was treated as a victim of domestic violence and given special consideration to get green card. On hearing this story every one in the session expressed displeasure towards this unequal justice. One man said” It is absolutely outrageous and unjust that the woman with the same crime is rewarded with legal status and the man under similar circumstances is deported back to his country”. Other said “It is a sexist justice in favor of women” One Spanish guy shouted “Only in America, this happens only in America” Many men attending the sessions voiced their frustration and disappointments toward the legal system which was never in their favor. A few fathers were worried about their teen age sons and daughters who could easily manipulate their mothers in the absence of their fathers.
After my sessions were completed my lawyer explained to me that my chances of getting Green card in America are almost nil without sponsorship of Sonia , and there is a good possibility that I would be deported because of my illegal status and the label of battering husband. Once I was deported I could never come back ever to USA. The best way for me would be to go to Canada and apply from there for legal entry into the USA. After my divorce I left most of my possessions with my ex wife and took my BMW and left USA for Canada where I am living now.
Often I wish I had not left Punjab for America. By now I would have become a doctor and perhaps been on my way to USA for residency program. Then I hear a little voice within me saying “Don’t forget, you could have been dead” which is a distinct possibility. I wonder how many more unwitting victims like me are suffering for no fault of their? Does any one care to know?
Once or twice a month I call my mother who knows that I have moved to Canada but nothing more She asks me a lot of questions on the phone and most of the time I avoid answering them and change the subject. She almost always asks me “When Sonia was coming to live with me in Canada? When was I coming to India? Her only wish is to see me before she dies.” I too pray every day that I get my legal papers soon, whether in Canada or in USA; I don’t care. The first thing I am going to do after I get my legal papers is to visit my mother in India.
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